When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart

Author: Joel Young
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 1493003968
Size: 73.53 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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Behind nearly every adult who is accused of a crime, becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, or who is severely mentally ill and acting out in public, there is usually at least one extremely stressed-out parent. This parent may initially react with the bad news of their adult child behaving badly with, "Oh no!" followed by, "How can I help to fix this?" A very common third reaction is the thought, "Where did I go wrong--was it something I said or did, or that I failed to do when my child was growing up that caused these issues? Is this really somehow all my fault?" These parents then open their homes, their pocketbooks, their hearts, and their futures to "saving" their adult child--who may go on to leave them financially and emotionally broken. Sometimes these families also raise the children their adult children leave behind: 1.6 million grandparents in the U.S. are in this situation. This helpful book presents families with quotations and scenarios from real suffering parents (who are not identified), practical advice, and tested strategies for coping. It also discusses the fact that parents of adult children may themselves need therapy and medications, especially antidepressants. The book is written in a clear, reassuring manner by Dr. Joel L. Young, medical director of the Rochester Center for Behavioral Medicine in Rochester Hills, Michigan; with noted medical writer Christine Adamec, author of many books in the field. In the wake of the Newtown shooting and the viral popularity of the post "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother," America is now taking a fresh look, not only at gun control, but also on how we treat mental illness. Another major issue is our support or stigmatization of those with adult children who are a major risk to their families as well to society itself. This book is part of that conversation.

When Your Child Breaks Your Heart

Author: Barbara Johnson
Publisher: Revell
ISBN: 0800787757
Size: 32.15 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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Beloved author Barbara Johnson offers hope to families facing difficulty coming to terms with a child's decisions in life, sharing how God brought her through the deep waters--and how he will do the same for them.

When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us

Author: Jane Adams
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781439106822
Size: 51.88 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our twenty- and even thirty-somethings who can't seem to grow up? How can we help our depressed, dependent, or addicted adult children, the ones who can't get their lives started, who are just marking time or even doing it? What's the right strategy when our smart, capable "adultolescents" won't leave home or come boomeranging back? Who can we turn to when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed? In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns, including our silence and self-imposed sense of isolation, when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She listens to a generation that "did everything right" and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven't, at least, not yet -- and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships. With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult children -- Stop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood and their first, the bestselling author of I'm Still Your Mother reminds us that the pleasures and possibilities of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn out, but on how we do!

Done With The Crying

Author: Sheri McGregor
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780997352207
Size: 69.42 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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If such a precious relationship can fall apart, then what is safe? Mothers of estranged adult children wonder: What did I do wrong? Who can I trust? Will my other children leave too? Sheri McGregor, M.A., is a loving mother to whom the unthinkable happened. She uses tools, understanding, and the insight from more than 9,000 parents to help.

The Effect Of Children On Parents

Author: Anne-Marie Ambert
Publisher: Psychology Press
ISBN: 9780789008541
Size: 60.57 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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Recognize the hidden costs and rewards of childrearing! The Effect of Children on Parents, Second Edition, thoughtfully explores the interactions by which parents and children change, develop, and sometimes affect each other negatively. Everyone knows that parents influence their children, but few people consider the ways in which children affect their parents. The love, satisfaction, and fulfillment children offer can change parents’lives. So can the stress, worry, and financial drain. The Effect of Children on Parents, Second Edition, honestly confronts these long-neglected issues of family dynamics. Taking a unique interdisciplinary approach, this book describes in great detail, with jargon-free language the various aspects of children's effects on their parents. This second edition contains an abundance of fresh information, including nine entirely new chapters that deal with such complex topics as the effects on parents of children with emotional, behavioral, and delinquency problems. The Effect of Children on Parents, Second Edition, asks and answers essential questions on the parent-child dynamic, including: what role does genetic inheritance play in children's responses to their parents? how do peers influence children and through them, their parents? what happens to parents when children are difficult or have emotional problems? what special considerations apply to minority or adoptive parents? how do adult childrem affect their aging parents? how does society support or undermine parents? what roadblocks prevent parents from being as effective as they would like to be? The Effect of Children on Parents, Second Edition, takes a brave look at this often ignored area of family dynamics, giving a richer, more complex, and ultimately more healing view of how humans interact in families. Professors, students, and experts in the fields of child development, family studies, and sociology of childhood and family will find this book a sophisticated tool in their desire to better understand and help families and children.

30 Lessons For Living

Author: Karl A. Pillemer
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0452298482
Size: 69.61 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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Draws on a renowned gerontologist's extensive discussions with hundreds of senior-aged Americans to reveal wisdom gleaned from their experiences with everything from families and finances to careers and aging, in a lifestyle primer that shares key principles based on the most commonly imparted advice. Reprint. 100,000 first printing.

The Price Of Silence

Author: Liza Long
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0147516404
Size: 42.26 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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Like most of the nation, Liza Long spent 14 December 2012, mourning the victims of the Newtown shooting at the hands of mentally ill Adam Lanza. Long is also the mother of a child with a mental illness, and she wondered: 'What if my son does that someday?' Powerful and shocking, The Price Of Silence looks at how society stigmatises mental illness - including in children - and the devastating societal cost. In the wake of repeated acts of mass violence, Long draws from her experience of dealing with a mentally ill child to point the way forward.

Afraid To Let Go For Parents Of Adult Addicts And Alcoholics

Author: Mary Crocker Cook
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781611700923
Size: 11.69 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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"You are not Codependent simply because your adult child is an addict or alcoholic." All parents of addicted children of any age are terrified, confused, feel out of control, lose sleep, dread the phone calls at 3:00 in the morning. This book is for parents who are "Afraid to Let Go" because they do not know how to set boundaries with their adult children without feeling crippling anxiety, or walling themselves off to make separation possible. You can't "let go." You can't "detach with love." You can't let them "hit bottom." You can't seem to implement the strategies you have learned when you are faced with your adult child's chaos and anxiety. When you try to do this, it makes you physically and emotionally ill, and the anxiety and fear becomes unbearable. "Why can't you just "let go"? " If you are struggling with Codependency, your relationship with your child is not be the only relationship where you experience a loss of self, over-reactivity, adrenalin rushes when you feel "out of control," or behave intrusively or impulsively to "help" in situations even when your assistance has not been requested. If you are Codependent, this is not the first relationship in which you have "over-given" and then felt resentful, or sacrificed yourself to give someone what you decided they "needed" because if you don't, "who will"? "Afraid to Let Go" explores the developmental origins of Codependency that lead to painful behavioral reactivity in response to our addicted adult children. Afraid to Let Go then connects the chronic stress of the chaos of addiction with adrenal system damage, and points you toward concrete behavioral changes you can make to heal regardless of the sobriety of your adult child. "About the author: " Mary Crocker Cook, D.Min., LMFT, CADCII is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with extensive experience working with addicted families over the last 20 years. She is the author of ""Awakening Hope. A Developmental, Behavioral and Biological Approach to Codependency Treatment,"" and coordinates the Alcohol and Drug Studies Program at San Jose City College in San Jose, California.

Healing A Parent S Grieving Heart

Author: Alan D. Wolfelt
Publisher: Companion Press
ISBN: 1879651300
Size: 33.77 MB
Format: PDF
View: 1965
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Presenting simple yet highly effective methods for coping and healing, this book provides answers and relief to parents trying to deal with the loss of a child. It offers 100 practical, action-oriented tips for embracing grief, such as writing a letter to the child who has died; spending time with others who will listen to stories of grief; creating a memory book, box, or Web site; and remembering others who may still be struggling with the death. The guide also addresses common problems for grieving parents, including dealing with marital stress, helping surviving siblings, dealing with hurtful advice, and exploring feelings of guilt. This compassionate resource will aid parents who have been through the death of a child—whether the passing happened recently or many years ago, whether the child was young or an adult.

Failure To Launch

Author: Michael DeVine
Publisher: Jason Aronson, Incorporated
ISBN: 0765709562
Size: 52.27 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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Failure to Launch is a book geared towards helping clinicians work with dependent adult children. The book first attempts to define the problem of failure to launch as well as identify the underlying causes such as entitlement, narcissism, enabling family systems, and undiagnosed mental health problems. Failure to Launch also lays out a step-by-step treatment plan to help guide clinicians with these clients to help facilitate change. The book includes case studies, sample chapters, and the latest research to help illustrate the theoretical basis for the treatments in this book.